tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19196871088363893272024-03-05T17:50:35.705-05:00Lighten Up with KarinIt's no longer about a weight loss contest. Now it's about balance, health, and authenticity.Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.comBlogger270125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-19242547828135767452013-03-19T08:19:00.001-04:002013-03-19T08:19:55.385-04:00Dear Diary(I joined WW last week; today will be my first "results" weigh-in.)<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I’m going to have to resist psyching myself out this time
around: worrying about how much my clothes weigh, worrying about how much I eat
before each meeting, wanting to weigh myself at home, then obsessing over how
that weight will compare with my weight at meeting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><img alt="*" height="16" src="file:///C:/Users/Mom/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="16" /><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Clothes:
Till I get down to the bitter end, an ounce or two between these pants and
those pants really doesn’t matter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Right
now my struggle isn’t one of ounces but of behaviors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This time around I made the decision that I’m
going to wear my running shoes for every weigh-in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><img alt="*" height="16" src="file:///C:/Users/Mom/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="16" /><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">breakfast:
My breakfasts are generally healthy, and one of the teachings of WW is to eat
breakfast daily.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By skipping breakfast
on weigh-in day, I’d be starting my week at a disadvantage, throwing the baby out
with the bath water.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So there’ll be
breakfast, even on weigh-in day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><img alt="*" height="16" src="file:///C:/Users/Mom/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.gif" width="16" /><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">weight
at home:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s like trying to make
Christmas happen sooner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes the anticipation
of a good number becomes overwhelming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A
simple solution to this: have the hubby hide the scale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, I can’t achieve my goal by weighing
myself obsessively.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Bradley Hand ITC"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">My big fear is that I won’t know how to cope with those
weeks when I lose no weight or even gain weight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But that’s catastrophic thinking, creating
drama in my mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whether the scale
shows a gain or a loss is beyond my control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What is in my control is whether I live the lifestyle I’ve chosen:
eating good food with good reason, and moving this body before I lose it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-22552573857607529152013-01-16T08:12:00.001-05:002013-01-16T08:12:44.066-05:00How I Lost 100 Pounds: Seahorses<span style="color: blue; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;">It's a little odd that I turned to exercising in the water as a last resort. I love the water - ocean, lake, pond, rain, or tub. I love seeing, hearing, touching, smelling and even tasting it. I love water so much that I can't believe anything I do in it is exercise.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Times; font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Times; font-size: x-large;">Stop by the pool on certain afternoons, look for the aqua jogger who's smiling till that smile erupts into laughter, and you've found me. </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Times; font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Times; font-size: x-large;">Why am I smiling? </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Times; font-size: x-large;">* because I'm having so much fun moving without pain,</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Times; font-size: x-large;">* because when I aqua jog from one side of the pool to the other I remember my babies tripping toward me, giggling all the way,</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Times; font-size: x-large;">* because I feel the strength of my arms and legs pulling me through the water,</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Times; font-size: x-large;">* because no one can see how much bouncing and jiggling is going on in my swimsuit,</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Times; font-size: x-large;">* because I imagine I'm a silly seahorse, bobbing along.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Times; font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Times; font-size: x-large;">You could say I went to the aqua jogging class kicking and screaming. "It's not real exercise!" I thought to myself. But I was wrong. It is real exercise. I can tell because when I get into the pool, the water's cold and I have energy to burn. After 15 minutes the water feels almost stiflingly warm and I am pushing myself to keep my head above water. (And it's a joyful pushing, with legs and core and arms.)</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Times; font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Times; font-size: x-large;">After just a couple weeks of aqua jogging I already feel stronger. I'm overcoming nerve damage which had been overwhelming me. The joy I feel in the pool translates into joy at home. By wearing myself out during day, I sleep better at night. Weakness is becoming strength, and lethargy is becoming energy.</span>Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-88030456850921213672013-01-14T18:26:00.004-05:002013-01-14T18:26:52.095-05:00How I Lost 100 Pounds: Wii Weekly!<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">700 days since I last used the Wii fit, and I still take offense when the little board sadly sighs "oh" when I step on. Yeah, buddy, I'm back.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The good news: My Wii Fit age 7 years lower than my real age - YAY!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The bad news: During those 700 days away, I've added more pounds than I'm willing to admit here. And there's some work to be done: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4zVwDIBi77Fl_HDPEQOyAl97Pn_TiADaRr8bF7gL34c7_CupeWM2pVEr16SpeAVnUfj87AtdX_ZzNqqA70zJN-lw64ra7tVHYyZ_j0fLq1jjqY9MMtATyV1ctHEA7BqZmWcVRNabJLdGL/s1600/021.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4zVwDIBi77Fl_HDPEQOyAl97Pn_TiADaRr8bF7gL34c7_CupeWM2pVEr16SpeAVnUfj87AtdX_ZzNqqA70zJN-lw64ra7tVHYyZ_j0fLq1jjqY9MMtATyV1ctHEA7BqZmWcVRNabJLdGL/s320/021.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I didn't really need the TV to tell me I'm unbalanced.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Or that my personal best in boxing still has a ways to go.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSXwXtQ1KkyiuZW9fjo663nyG5KugsNx6D0AGhHArsBO7gJmMHw_J49A0Xdv_mWKReNwP0M7l_coy1-6BUu1B-9zxrsHJfEesuS4-zHGdo2smZHIsYly_6g3FmYqFbDZEIPIOgA45CA_o9/s1600/014.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSXwXtQ1KkyiuZW9fjo663nyG5KugsNx6D0AGhHArsBO7gJmMHw_J49A0Xdv_mWKReNwP0M7l_coy1-6BUu1B-9zxrsHJfEesuS4-zHGdo2smZHIsYly_6g3FmYqFbDZEIPIOgA45CA_o9/s320/014.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Somehow I forgot about the Wii. In all my swimming and biking and weightlifting, weigh-ins and bathroom scales and calorie counting, I forgot about the gem under the couch. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I like Wii Fit. It gives me messages like this when I do well...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizdtpvLG4IuWjDSQvcr4YNVNqvzg_srXkk0CXQgix3lkeiL5J5VpA3A_ffqbi_dJpcF8bMukh-B-zDzfVuRku8OY0pbuPWv9ENGmezBjtKaZ2jbD_pzNwMp3Mrsu5mw1oEy95iLS7Fl62p/s1600/009.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizdtpvLG4IuWjDSQvcr4YNVNqvzg_srXkk0CXQgix3lkeiL5J5VpA3A_ffqbi_dJpcF8bMukh-B-zDzfVuRku8OY0pbuPWv9ENGmezBjtKaZ2jbD_pzNwMp3Mrsu5mw1oEy95iLS7Fl62p/s320/009.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">(Okay, so that was on breathing. I can breathe just 6 points shy of perfection!)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">... and like this:</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYSc9fChvxQrxOoSE0-rq93upVYn2-MYaEojfEGfNUXkjAj4loEzbEvJHd1UcsiTvJWrZyEetXdKyROXycS5y-qI14dfq51CkwgECicQAWMpnV46CocTIjkLL4wymqAS1HzWWge978huuY/s1600/013.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYSc9fChvxQrxOoSE0-rq93upVYn2-MYaEojfEGfNUXkjAj4loEzbEvJHd1UcsiTvJWrZyEetXdKyROXycS5y-qI14dfq51CkwgECicQAWMpnV46CocTIjkLL4wymqAS1HzWWge978huuY/s320/013.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Yep, I'm a perfect stepper.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I like the feeling that I'm working out with a trainer, without the baggage that comes with working out at the gym -- you know what I'm talking about: membership fees, crowded locker rooms, transportation time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm motivated by the progress charts, by the improvements I know are on the way, and by helpful messages like this:</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLllPjRsWSCRFmXzfeZz2BcEcIvjFDS6gvksjPhyphenhyphen7Zv_j02pleXGwYvXd2Ooq4U5_nRDMhLgeE1c_luQ-WE83eqJt8Im3WmJDS1zKP1Xt4A7clnfBNhfIUeZZLHuLaiIBsnIUmDItK7xTl/s1600/018.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLllPjRsWSCRFmXzfeZz2BcEcIvjFDS6gvksjPhyphenhyphen7Zv_j02pleXGwYvXd2Ooq4U5_nRDMhLgeE1c_luQ-WE83eqJt8Im3WmJDS1zKP1Xt4A7clnfBNhfIUeZZLHuLaiIBsnIUmDItK7xTl/s320/018.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"> Yep, I can do better than that, and I'll hit it again tomorrow. Wii!</span>Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-64310119852911875982013-01-06T19:07:00.000-05:002013-01-06T19:08:19.350-05:00How I lost 100 pounds: season 14<span style="font-size: large;">The premier of Season 14 of The Biggest Loser will air tonight. I've been looking forward to it since this summer, when I wasn't chosen as a contestant. I'm curious to see what the chosen people brought to the table, to hear their stories.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I'm doing a fair amount of <i>what if I'd been selected?</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">What would I weigh now?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">How would I have done in challenges?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Which would be my trainer?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">What would my family and I have done without each other?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Would I be fighting back from my back injury? Would it even have happened?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I'm also feeling that little bit of competition starting up again. If I work really hard this week, how would a 1st all-out week compare against the contestants'? Not much of a contest, since I won't be spending 6 hours a day in the gym; but still.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">What if?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-80535506782455009512012-12-30T11:12:00.003-05:002012-12-30T11:12:34.706-05:00New Year<span style="font-size: large;">For the first time in a long time I've got a couple things to put on a new year's to-do list.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Let me pause though, and ask whether you're a glass-half-empty or glass-half-full kind of person.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Here's my glass. </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_RLT2q6RPBrwaeqYUDsWKy8sYifiG9f9G5-XheZnjEeWSyn00Jue3Uv2hdSLFjph128K25kAzeBg7kAaVT54vmgNDIFI1BnurBlvqQ4V05H7xZ8lqTsDCoPlqliVJJxya5eFNX_DFOTpA/s1600/004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_RLT2q6RPBrwaeqYUDsWKy8sYifiG9f9G5-XheZnjEeWSyn00Jue3Uv2hdSLFjph128K25kAzeBg7kAaVT54vmgNDIFI1BnurBlvqQ4V05H7xZ8lqTsDCoPlqliVJJxya5eFNX_DFOTpA/s320/004.JPG" width="213" /></span></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Looks pretty empty doesn't it? Truth be told it's already pretty full. First of all, it's filled with love. It was inspired by Kathryn and given to me by Buffy. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Second, it's filled with hope. The idea is to fill it with slips of paper written upon with good things that happened each day. You can't tell from the photo, but it's a big jar. A lot of love. A lot of hope.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">It's also got a good base of m&ms.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioAIDbvW-cLAu6aScQ0VpmV6Hy4vBsx8K6UDatdJxUS8zhPzvlibcw20cOQ9gL-AtupDi6eRz729MQsCgUAG36bFzn19CuQwjS9l-FBto-5X_3_yIiL0aRWgdj-NKY7XPRDyk0r6-p7_l7/s1600/007.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioAIDbvW-cLAu6aScQ0VpmV6Hy4vBsx8K6UDatdJxUS8zhPzvlibcw20cOQ9gL-AtupDi6eRz729MQsCgUAG36bFzn19CuQwjS9l-FBto-5X_3_yIiL0aRWgdj-NKY7XPRDyk0r6-p7_l7/s320/007.JPG" width="213" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">m&ms make me happy. I love their colors, their smooth texture, their clinking sound. </span><span style="font-size: large;">I also happen to not like to eat m&ms. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Just imagine how beautiful this jar will look as the days and weeks go on in the year ahead. Slips of happiness nestled among colors of happiness.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The other activity I'm embracing for the new year: starting each of my days with Namaste. According to on-line sources, ;iterally it means "I bow to you." Gandhi broadened it to "I honor the place within where the Universe resides; I honor the place within you of love, of light, of truth, of peace; I honor the place within you, where, when you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, there is only one of us."</span><span style="color: #997755; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="line-height: 25px;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: large;">I've often said it to canines and felines, and I've recently begun saying it to humans. Now I'm going to say it to myself each day. It's a powerful reminder to me of suffering which happens in the world, and of the great love and respect I wish to give all people, even myself.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Namaste.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Happy new year.</span>Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-66740488152134371122012-12-28T15:58:00.001-05:002012-12-28T15:58:25.335-05:00What to do, what to do?<span style="font-size: large;">It happens every time. In the weeks leading up to the kids' break from school - whether summer, winter, or spring - I anticipate days of not worrying about school, deadlines, and other obligations. I envision pajama days of a magically and healthfully filled refrigerator, well-balanced and nutritious meals that prepare themselves, laundry that keeps itself clean, folded, and stocked in drawers, and hour after hour of being merrily busy.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">About halfway through the break, when I'm weary of chauffeuring and of living schedulessly at the whim of my kidlets, I find myself thinking "Why didn't I set plan time for me?" I can eat in secret, read a stack of books, surf the web, or watch TV reruns, but none of those is what I <i>want</i> to do. My body is stiff, my clothes are tight, and I'm feeling blah. I want to feel alive again.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">That's when I start making plans for the weeks ahead. Looking through the class offerings of the YMCA I see titles like Step, Basic Strength Training, and Yoga. I see Cardio & Strength, Jogging, and Boot Camp all listed <i>in the water section</i>! I start comparing the times of the offered classes to the times I need to drop off or pick up from school. How many classes can I squeeze in to my days? How good will I feel after each class? How awesome will it feel to start shedding, instead of packing on, pounds again?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I've got my water. I've got my journal. Now I've got to get some exercise. Again.</span>Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-1323356372945599222012-12-20T12:23:00.001-05:002012-12-20T12:23:22.498-05:00How I Lost 100 Pounds, 12/20<span style="font-size: large;">First, it must be noted that drinking 8 oz. of water every half hour isn't a sustainable practice. After the first few hours, I quickly decided to use my head rather than stick to a vow which didn't make sense. </span><span style="font-size: large;">The good news? I'm back in the water habit! Not 8 oz. every half hour, but definitely more often than before.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">After plenty of hemming & hawing, tempted by the idea of "I'll just go back to WW! They'll fix it!" I chose instead to purchase a food journal. <a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/dietminder-f-e-wilkins/1030476355" target="_blank">This</a> is the one I bought. Already on day one it's working. Starting to journal what I eat reminds me to think twice before eating. This morning I almost had my teeth into a cookie, I remembered the journal and my goal, and then I put the cookie down. I'm reminded of the phrase <em>Don't trade what you want most for what you want right now.</em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The journal also made me finally make time to get to the grocery store for fresh fruit. I can't remember the last time my breakfast included fruit or veggies.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I'm thankful for all that I learned in WW. Now I need to keep tapping into those lessons and stand on my own two feet. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">water -- check.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">food tracking -- check.</span>Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-68209364652634789662012-11-27T07:19:00.000-05:002012-11-27T07:19:07.319-05:00How I Lost 100 Pounds, Starting Today<span style="font-size: large;">I've had the title "How I Lost 100 Pounds, Starting Today" in my head for a few weeks now. I think it comes from the <i>dream it, do it</i> or <i>believe it, achieve it</i> school of thought. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">This morning I decided to promote myself to the next grade by moving from thought to action. </span><span style="font-size: large;">I took what is almost always the first step of getting serious about getting healthy: identify the Why. Why am I motivated to invest in improving my health? I took my brand new, fairy-godmother-given notebook and made my list. It's my list, not yours. I invite you to make a list of your very own.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">When I was done making my list I gave myself 2 challenges for today:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">1. Get on the scale. I know, I know: there are other healthful cues than a scale, but if my title is "How I Lost 100 Pounds, Starting Today," then I'd better know where I started so I know when I get there.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">2. Drink 8 oz. of water during every top and bottom half of the hour. Not only will this make me healthier, it'll also </span><span style="font-size: large;">give me a jump start on that 100 lbs.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">So. Here we are. Only 100 pounds to go!</span>Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-52408759150026577832012-11-03T06:52:00.002-04:002012-11-03T06:52:39.224-04:00doggie dash<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What is all boils down to today is this:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: large;">Do I want to be the fat old lady waiting at the finish line with a mouthful of excuses, or do I want to be the fat old lady crossing the finish line in spite of the excuses?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: large;">Off to the Doggie Dash!</span>Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-55213570781440358162012-10-31T14:00:00.000-04:002012-10-31T14:00:03.857-04:00weight loss insanity!<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Was it Einstein? I think it was Einstein. I could look it up, but then I'd lose my train of thought, and the way that train's been running lately, I'm better off keeping away from search engines.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Someone, I think it's Einstein, noted that doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results is insanity. I think it's more futility, but what do I know?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">I know that my clothes got tighter while I wasn't looking. I thought about blaming it on those calories which hide in the washer & dryer and suck the extra space right out of the fabric. I'm sure I've read about that kind of calories on the Internet; and we all know that if it's on the Internet it must be true.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">I thought about blaming it on my injuries which have kept me from getting my heart rate up. But, quite frankly, hand and arm have done just fine lifting goodies all the way to my mouth. I suspect that some of my residual limp is less limp than waddle.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Where am I going with all this? I'm going to make my clothes less tight. I'm not a seamstress by any stretch of the imagination, so instead of working from the outside-in, I'm going to have to work from the inside-out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">And what better time that autumn? No shorts or swimsuits on the horizon -- only blankets and flannels, if our recent loss of power is any indication of the months ahead. Autumn! With comfort foods and social foods and sampling foods. Since society will have us all dieting on January 1, so if we're going to eat butter, cheese, and sugar we'd better hop to it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Yeah, a great time to fix what's not working.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">My best weapon right now is that I want to be healthy. My tighter clothes aren't the issue -- they're a symptom. I've had enough injury this year to last me a lifetime; I want the rest of my lifetime to be glorious, not burdensome.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Eat better. Move more. Ignoring those instructions and thinking I'll be healthy... futile insanity.</span>Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-25307939507512699392012-10-08T13:24:00.002-04:002012-10-08T13:24:44.460-04:00new<span style="font-size: large;">Much like the butterflies in my stomach before the initial Lighten Up session in 2011, today's butterflies know how to raise a ruckus. In a little while I'm going to try a new gym. I'm already wondering what the clientele will be like, how hard will it be to find the machines I want to work on, and what am I capable of after having been physically & emotionally broken.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">It's too bad I can't sneak into the gym when no one's looking. Try this machine and that, build my endurance and slim down a bit before adding other people to the mix.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But as I told myself time and time again in the past, people at the gym are there for themselves, not to pay attention to me. So the best I can do it pack a water bottle and some tunes, make sure my laces are tied, and do my best.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span>Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-25913417955465685442012-10-02T09:04:00.001-04:002012-10-02T09:04:16.458-04:00Enough timeTo summarize where I've been since August: Back injuries stink. And that's enough about that.<br />
<br />
Since I have had no exercise option available to me for more than a month now, I've had plenty of time to wallow and worry.<br />
<br />
And I've had so much time to wallow and worry that I've resorted to giving myself a good talking to. There are some things I can't do. So?<br />
<br />
I can do my phsyical therapy exercises. (I used to work to make my trainer proud; now I'm working to make my physical therapist proud.)<br />
<br />
And I can concentrate on healthy eating. (So many blogs, so many cookbooks, so many friends with great recipes)<br />
<br />
Time to start concentrating on doing what I can, rather than lamenting what I can't. (Is that optimism I hear?)<br />
<br />
Time to become reacquainted with my kitchen. (It's on the other side of the dining room.)<br />
<br />
Here we go!<br />
<br />
Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-43292839921442716212012-08-13T08:46:00.002-04:002012-08-13T08:46:48.754-04:00Even better than what the doctor ordered <span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">When I last wrote, I was a big ol' mess. I felt lousy after that training session-gone-kaplooey. And then it got worse -- my back went out, and when my back goes out it doesn't tiptoe meekly out, but rather slams the door so that dishes fall off shelves, windows shatter, and birds' nests fall from trees. My back knows how to make an exit.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">In a nutshell, I saw some doctors. One gave me something to make me care less about the pain; the other prescribed yoga & physical therapy. What neither prescribed but I took on nonetheless was a hiatus. The most walking I've done is around a few blocks... with my exuberant 60-pound tripod of a puppy, so I guess there might have been some exercise involved. But that's beside the point.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">During my Exercise Exile, I had to fill my time to distract myself from Progress Being Lost. </span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">I went to the movies with my kids </span></li>
<li><span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">I walked half a mile to a restaurant because its actual location didn't match precisely with what I imagined its location to be</span></li>
<li><span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">I ate a slice of cheap bread with salami, popcorn with butter, and even 1/2 a can of diet soda (what IS that stuff?)</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">And guess what? I started to feel better. Not better in my back (it holds a grudge), but better about life. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">That (and the blessed relieved from a hotly changed climate) got me interested in trying some new healthy recipes (Does strawberry banana cream pie count? I made the custard myself!), which gave me to optimism that accompanies creativity. My sewing machine is looking less like a monster, and scrapbooking supplies are looking shiny & new again.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">During this time of actually caring for myself, I found that my appetite dwindled. How's that for a nice side effect?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">Before I got on the scale this morning I thought "It's about time to buy a new scale. We've had this one forever." It must have heard me because the number it displayed was enough to make me smile, confirming that caring for myself is good. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">One of the ways I care for myself is exercise. But exercise isn't my goal. Love and joy are my goals, and it's time I keep and cultivate that attitude, even in the challenge of jogging at my weight.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">My new back doctor is not a fan of pharmaceutical medications. Instead he focuses on health, on managing our muscles. I'm really excited to have someone in my corner who brings that optimism -- that I CAN manage my muscles. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">I don't know how to end this rambling today. I'm just happy and optimistic for the first time in a long time, and all it took to get here was going through some excruciating pain.</span>Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-52575873291149641462012-08-01T17:23:00.002-04:002012-08-01T17:23:18.289-04:00If only I could cry<span style="font-size: large;">If I were in my counselor's office right now, the conversation would go something like this.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: red;">me</span> (sweaty, flushed, shaking): <span style="color: red;">I'm a quitter. I actually quit a practice jog today.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">c: Okay. Why did you quit?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: red;">me: Because</span><span style="color: red;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;">* I was hot, </span><br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;">* I was jogging faster with this group of strangers than I do on my own, </span><br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;">* I was jogging late in the day for the first time, having spent a couple days caring for a whole lot of extra lives, and I wanted to rest,</span><br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;">* I had just jogged up an incline for the first time</span><br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;">* I was panicking, needing to cry but not being able to</span><br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;">* I was afraid to keep going</span><br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;">* I didn't want to keep going</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">c: It sounds like you had some good reasons for quitting, but you sound angry. Why's that?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;">me: Because quitting is wrong. I'm supposed to finish what I start or else I'll never get to where I want to be. How am I ever going to get in shape if I can't keep up with people? How am I going to build my endurance when I can't even overcome that critical voice in my head? I tried, I really did, putting song lyrics in my mind, but I wasn't strong enough. I just kept thinking about the heat and the incline and the pollution and how tight my throat was and everything I still had to do today. I'm always going to have things to do -- it's one of the things I like about life. Being busy, being active. And there I was being active, and I was overwhelmed and I quit.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">c: If you were talking to a friend of yours about this -- if your friend was the one who had quit, what would you say to him or her?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;">me: I'd say it's not the end of the world, and he or she could try again another day, and they should be proud for trying.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">c: What if you were talking to your own kids about this? What if they quit? What would you say?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: red;">me: I'd tell them I love them no matter what and that I was so proud of them for jogging as much as they did. I'd hope that they'd see how far they jogged on the asphalt next to a train. I'd tell them I was proud of them for getting out there and taking the chance to be with new people on a new course. I'd tell them that it's going through challenges that makes us stronger, and that they'd already done more than half a mile of something which was scary.</span> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">c: And what if someone else said to you that you're a quitter. What if it wasn't you putting yourself down, but someone else?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;">me: I'd get really mad at that person, and I'd want to do everything in my power to prove them wrong. I'd feel competitive. But as soon as I think that, I think of the 5k I signed up for and I get scared. I'm going to be the slowest, fattest person out there. <span style="color: black;">(But I'll <em>be</em> out there, and that's something.) </span><span style="color: red;">And I'm tired of being slow and fat. </span><span style="color: black;">(I've never been speedy; I had to hit the softball out of the park to give myself time to truck around the bases even when I wasn't overweight.)</span><span style="color: red;"> I want to see results. I want to be jogging longer and stronger. I want to be lean and athletic. I don't want people to take look at me and judge me to be pathetic. Which is how I felt today during the jog: a fat pathetic loser.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><em>I really don't know where to go from here. I'll keep doing my jogging homework and I'll drag my sorry backside through the 5k. I really want to be able to jog the entire 5k. Right now I can barely jog half a mile. </em></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><em>I know that I've got a whole lot of good qualities. But how am I going to get past my mental block? </em></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-1441051189372941652012-07-30T10:48:00.003-04:002012-07-30T10:48:26.636-04:00Thoughts from the Track<span style="font-size: large;">1. Is a nice cool breeze at the track really too much to provide? God? Mother Nature? Santa Claus? Anyone? Now that I'm moving faster longer, I find myself radiating heat and positively glistening (but still not dripping with) sweat, and I can't help but think that running would be easier if I were a little cooler, a little more comfortable. Which brings me to number two.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">2. I need to change some of my running music. Too much of it is good spiritually, but it's so soothing that it leads me to envision dropping to the ground and relaxing, watching seagulls and bumblebees. What do <em>you</em> listen to in order to keep your spirit soaring, your chin up, and your legs pumping?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">3. My fat is tenacious. I'm engaged in a battle of wills with a monster of my own creation. When I signed up for Lighten Up and for the triathlon last year, as well as for the 5k training program this year, I naively assumed that my fat would flee in fear. Upon hearing that my muscles were throwing a coup, my fat would quiver and wobble away. No such luck. For something so soft, fat sure has a good grip. I'm just going to have to keep empowering my muscles. Which brings me to number four.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">4. Puffing away on the track, trying to put a little spring in my step and good posture in my form, it occurred to me that jogging still ain't easy. I wondered if it would <em>ever</em> get any easier. And then I realized that I'm jogging more frequently and for minutes at a time. I remembered that when I start this training, I was jogging for 60 or 90 seconds at a time. Now I'm jogging 8 minutes at a time, in between biking to and from the track. I've come a long way (not as long as I'd like) and made a lot of improvement (not as much as I'd like). And then there's number five.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">5. Just as I'm cheesed with the Powers That Be for withholding cool breezes for jogging, I'm cheesed with myself for obliterating my hard work by not recording my calories consumed for the past couple weeks. Sure I'd only be losing a pound a week, but those would be fewer pounds to schlep around the track. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I'm tired, I'm sweaty, and I'm roasting. I'm also motivated to jog the 5k in November (plenty of cool breezes then, I'm thinking), to see a less roly poly shadow at the track, and to weigh less than my husband. So this girl's gotta do what this girl's gotta do: keep improving. Like the GnR song says: <em>I used to do a little but a little wouldn't do it, so the little got more and more; I just keep tryin' to get a little better, a little better than before.</em></span>Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-21774118506382809712012-07-22T05:30:00.001-04:002012-07-22T05:30:57.694-04:00Dear Diary: The hopeful<span style="font-size: large;">Dear Diary,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">One of the headlines today reads <em><a href="http://www.cleveland.com/metro/index.ssf/2012/07/hopefuls_gather_for_the_bigges.html" target="_blank">Hopefuls gather for Biggest Loser auditions</a></em>. The hundreds of us who spent hours in line were hopeful that our sixty seconds with the casting director would be enough of a foot in the door to earn a callback. </span><span style="font-size: large;">By the time I was seen, those sixty seconds had been whittled down to twenty seconds.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I'll tell you right now that I didn't get a callback. My phone was ready for it, but I'm not sure that I was. On the one hand I'm pretty sure I would have benefited from time away, an extended time to focus on me, me, me. I'd have given it my all.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">On the other hand I have a whole lot of people who depend on me; my life doesn't happen in a vacuum. I'm part of a house of cards, and my absence would cause a lot of crashing down. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Fortunately I also have people who don't depend on me, those pressureless gems who journey with me lightly. No burden of dependence, but the freedom of choice.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">And I have people I depend on; those many people who offer support me, those precious ones who love me.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><em>Hopefuls gather</em>... It's true that like everyone else in line yesterday I was hopeful of being chosen to be a contestant on <em>The Biggest Loser</em>. Lose weight real fast through a cram session of hard work with my own team of trainers, doctors, and fellow losers? Yeah! </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Lucky for me my hope doesn't end with a silent phone. I know that my future doesn't end with the rejection of a TV production.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I still have hope.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I still have hope that I can continue to set goals, weight-related or otherwise, and that in working toward those goals I gain strength and foster more hope.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Yes, there are times when I continue to be intimidated when I look at how much weight I have to lose. But I've been teaching myself to shift my focus away from that intimidation. 5k training has been a great way to practice that skill.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I think that when it comes down to it, my biggest challenge is time management. Recently I've let weeks go by without planning meals, which means more frequent disorganized trips to the grocery store, which means a whole lot of unproductive food in our house and in me.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I know that time management is a struggle for me, particularly when my 3 special blessings -- with all their unique and not-so-unique needs -- are home for the summer. Time management really is the linchpin. Successful time management means, in my book anyway, having enough time to care for my needs that I'm empowered to care for those around me.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">How great is that? I have enough knowledge and experience about eating right, exercise, and confidence that I'm ready to take on a new challenge. Had I been removed from where I am, removed to the Biggest Loser ranch, I would have been getting the wrong stuff. I'd have been getting stuff I already have.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">What I need is here, at home. What I need is to take all that I have been given and all that I've fought for, and to move forward.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I hope that a year from now I can say that not being chosen for <em>The Biggest Loser</em> was one of the best things to ever happen to my weight loss. I'm hopeful!</span>Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-86285545128832444052012-07-16T08:44:00.001-04:002012-07-16T08:44:22.582-04:00What else can I do?<span style="font-size: large;">Every time I look at my 5k training plan, I look at some of the upcoming workouts and question whether I'll be able to do them. But then I look back at where I started and what I've accomplished since then.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I used to think that I couldn't stand heat and humidity. It turns out that I really hate the pair of them, but I <em>can</em> stand them, and I can even jog in them. I know that I can, because I did.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I used to think that I couldn't jog near people who weren't in my corner. But I did, so I know that I can.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I used to think I that I couldn't jog in new places. But I did, so I know that I can.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I used to think I couldn't jog all the way around the track. But I did, so I know that I can.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I doubted my ability to do all these things, and here I am doing them. It makes me wonder what else I'm capable of. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Will I jog that entire 5k in November? Will I get this extra weight off?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I guess I'll have to trust the pattern.</span>Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-27041407389469436512012-07-02T09:45:00.000-04:002012-07-02T09:45:08.140-04:00seconds and minutesI've started and stopped <em>learn to jog</em> programs before, usually before I'm jogging 2-minutes at a time. I'd get scared. So when I met up with my group this weekend and we received our assignment, which involved several 3-minute jogs, I wasn't sure what to think. I was very aware that up to now in this training I'd been thinking solely of seconds -- 60 or 90 at a time. Suddenly, as when a baby turns 2 years old and the parents no longer name the age in months but in years, I'm going to be counting my jogs in minutes, not seconds.<br />
<br />
I've already made progress with the group. My hardest week was the second week, when I thought some girls were laughing at me. It was a <em>back to the schoolyard</em> experience for me. This time tough, instead of feeling alone, I knew that I had both a friend and a coach supporting me. Being able to talk with them and get their feedback and support helped me get past my panic and gave me the ability to grow stronger in my mind and body.<br />
<br />
So far I've done the new assignment twice: once with our group and once with my jogging buddy. I'm happy to say that neither time have I had a stitch in my side or that choking feeling in my throat. The only thing burning has been my quads, and even that hasn't been bad. I've <em>wanted</em> to stop, but I haven't <em>needed</em> to stop. There's a big difference. And knowing that I didn't need to stop made me want to keep going.<br />
<br />
I'm so happy that I'm learning to jog 3 minutes at a time. I'm breaking a habit. I'm learning to conquer the fear that led me to give up on myself. I've got a couple weeks to work on this 3-minute jog. After that I'll be ready & willing to take on more. Maybe 5 minutes? 10 eventually?<br />
<br />
I think about the 5k this fall. I wonder how much I'll be able to jog. I can't wait to find out.Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-11224634651201964372012-06-29T08:28:00.002-04:002012-06-29T08:28:40.988-04:00How I did this week<span style="font-size: large;">Well done, me! The scale showed me down a pound this week. More importantly I'm feeling stronger, optimistic, and in control.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Food:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Thanks to a Costco run, I made sure the house was stocked with good things for me to eat. My meals this week were heavy on berries & salad, and a new favorite of mine: </span><a href="http://oldfashionedkitchen.com/baja-veggie-burger-fs/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;">Baja Veggie Burgers by Golden</span></a><span style="font-size: large;">. Dear me, they are delicious! No bun needed, just a little </span><a href="http://eatwholly.com/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;">Wholy Guacamole</span></a><span style="font-size: large;"> and these burgers are perfect! I even learned that guac, used in moderation, is an awesome salad topper. Guacamole w/o chips -- who knew? Well I know now!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Tracking: </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I think this is the biggest reason I got the scale to move down again this week -- I measured my portions and looked up/wrote down calorie counts for everything I ate. I finally found a notebook I like to use (a steno pad), which helps a lot. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Exercise:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">This is what really brought a smile to my face. I did my 5k training 4 days this week, even jogging in these sauna-like days. When I was stretching after this morning's work, I noticed that the sunlight shimmering in the sweat on my arm reminded me of the path that leads to the sun as it sets beyond Lake Erie. I really loved that.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Yesterday alone I swam, biked, walked, and lifted weights. I accept the fact that I'll never be the first to finish any race. I'm finally happy with being a workhorse, knowing I won't quit.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So that's it. That's how my week went. Lots of sweat, healthy food every day, a couple afternoons when I crashed into a battery-recharing naps. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I'm excited that I lost a pound, happy that I enjoyed eating well, proud of all the physical work I did, and I'm looking forward another good week.</span><br />Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-19227789676353590162012-06-26T15:10:00.004-04:002012-06-26T15:10:55.006-04:00regrouping<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I hardly know where to begin. I've been thinking a lot lately about how proud I am of some accomplishments of late:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> * resuming weightlifting</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> * overcoming (w/ the help of a friend) a panic attack during Saturday's jog</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> * doing every single piece of 5k training homework</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> * tracking everything I eat -- not just the food, but the calories, too</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> * giving myself a day of no tracking and a little leeway in eating</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I'm being hard on myself too:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> * I haven't braved a swim suit yet this year, even when the air was stifling and the water was enticing</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> * I abhor everything I see in the mirror (sooner or later you have to look, even if it's just when washing your face -- and I'm not happy with <em>any</em> of it)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> * I'm assuming that my appearance affects my hirability.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Today I feel like I'm paying my debt to society: I paid the fat tax for an upcoming flight. Upon reading that one must fit entirely between arm rests 17" apart, I thought I'd better take a look. It's not easy measuring oneself w/ a ruler, let me tell you. I layed it across my lap, I sat on it, I stood with it. No matter the position, the numbers were clear: either book a second seat for myself or half of my body was going to have to stay home.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I have to write this, I have to put it out there. I have to use this motivation. No matter what I've done, I can't stop. I still have so much physical and mental work to do. I can lift all the weights I want and walk a thousand miles, but if I'm winded from jogging or going up and down the stairs a few times, how in shape am I?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I'm proud and relieved that, for now anyway, I've got a good handle on healthy eating. I'm going to need that because I've got a monumental goal ahead of me, and I'm going to have to learn to push myself through self-consciousness & panic attacks & public perception.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-55932690316251210982012-06-21T20:01:00.003-04:002012-06-21T20:01:43.538-04:00Reunited and it feels so good!<span style="font-size: large;">I haven't seen David in almost a year, not since my surgery. For several months he didn't even cross my mind. Then as I started back to the gym regularly I'd see his name and get to thinking. Part of me wanted to go back, but part of me was ashamed for him to see what had become of me since last summer.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Remember David? The gentleman who seems to have trouble counting reps all the way to 12 (1, 2, 3, 3, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 7...)? The man who believes I can lift more than I think I can (and is always right)?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">As fate would have it, a friend noticed the flier for Women On Weights this morning, and I - being the glutton for punishment that I am - volunteered to register if she did.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I spent plenty of time today wondering how WOW would go. Would I be able to lift weights in the evening after starring in the role of <em>Mom</em> all day? As always when it comes to fitness challenges, I wondered where I'd end up in the (non-existent) rankings. I felt like an old dog coming out of my broken down dog house: a short-legged, big-jowled bulldog with a spikey collar but nothing to back it up.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Smith squat: I asked David to add more weight to the bar, and I heard some <em>oooh</em>s from my classmates. And I felt some confidence come back.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Inclined chest press: I asked David to add more weight to the bar.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Leg press: I heard one of my classmates ask "Has she done this before?" </span><span style="font-size: large;">And I thought to myself "Why yes. Yes she has. And just watch what else she can do."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">And then I was back and I had so much fun pushing myself to do more, all the way to the finale of upside-down crunches.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">WOW - I'm back!</span>Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-64128668999548074322012-06-18T07:27:00.003-04:002012-06-18T07:27:52.002-04:00Dear Diary: Runner<span style="font-size: large;">Dear Diary,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I like jogging. Even though it's practically a rain forest here this morning - even the newest batch of baby midgies were wearing swim suits at the track - I went to the track this morning and did my thing.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The <a href="http://www.cityofeuclid.com/events/1139" target="_blank">5K training program</a> started Saturday morning (I'm sure there's room for anyone who forgot to sign up -- you know who you are.) and already I'm gaining confidence and a positive attitude. When I faced a monumental struggle (putting on nylons) Saturday afternoon, I didn't question, doubt, and give up. Instead I just made it happen. <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="font-size: small;">J</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
This morning at the track I didn't question whether I could finish my homework assignment. I just did it, and then did a little more, just because I could. <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="font-size: small;">J<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="font-size: small;">J<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="font-size: small;">J <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="font-size: small;">J<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="font-size: small;">J<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="font-size: small;">J <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="font-size: small;">J<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="font-size: small;">J <span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">+ </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="font-size: small;">J </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;">
</span>Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-89137715524033938942012-06-16T08:53:00.001-04:002012-06-16T08:53:31.848-04:00My Secret Dream<span style="font-size: large;">I want to dance.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I want to do like the magnets say and "dance like no one is watching." I want to take my little kitchen dances with my kids and my dog and expand it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I love to watch <em>So You Think You Can Dance</em> every summer. I love to watch <em>Mama Mia</em> and every wedding movie that has dancers in it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I never attended high school dances, and though I attended middle school dances, I'm not sure I ever danced.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />The last time I danced with joy - with middle school choir to Madonna's <em>True Blue</em> - a friend of mine laughed at me and my swinging hips (I don't remember all of it, but I do remember the laughing, the pointing, the "boom! boom!"). And from then on I barely moved for choir choreography, and I learned to be self-critical before others laid into me.<br />
<br />
Wedding after wedding -- even my own -- I've been too self-conscious to dance. I'm a sad geek who encourages her husband to go dance with others rather than sit on the sidelines with me. (It takes a lot of convincing, but I can usually at least get him to leave my side for a polka.)<br />
<br />
Now that <em>The Biggest Loser</em> isn't on Tuesdays, I've started watching <em>Glee</em>. I borrowed the first two seasons from the library, and naturally I loved it. Singing, dancing -- what's not to love?<br />
<br />
One of my favorite numbers is <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILPIihg-JqQ" target="_blank">this: Artie's <em>Safety Dance</em></a>. Like Artie, I want to break out of what holds me back. I would <em>love</em> to learn to do Artie's routine, complete with confidence & attitude, but for know I'd settle for having the courage to dance with my husband at a wedding reception tonight.</span>Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-77622643035340407142012-06-15T07:36:00.001-04:002012-06-15T07:36:32.480-04:00Week in Review<span style="font-size: large;">I had a pretty successful week. I...</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> * worked out at the track 4 days</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> * jogged the track 3 times </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> * bicycled errands</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> * didn't break into the kids' sugar bomb cereal</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> * had salad for 4 meals</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> * tried pilates</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> * registered my boy and me for a 5K training program -- committing us to train for and participate in an October 5K</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> * planted a garden with my girls</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> * danced in the kitchen with my youngest and our dog</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> * lost 2 pounds! </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Next week's goals:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> * 20 push-ups a day (or 20 planks of at least 30 seconds each, during the week)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> * find a stretching program</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> * do all my 5K training homework</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span>Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1919687108836389327.post-67310915761619095562012-06-14T21:44:00.002-04:002012-06-14T21:44:40.989-04:00P is for...<span style="font-size: large;">Today's adventure was brought to me by the letter P. P is a fun letter. It's used for push-ups and pedal. It's also used for pilates, and since pilates looks like pirate, and I got a kick out of the pirate triathlon last summer, certainly I'd get a kick out pilates, too. What's not to love? Holding poses, seeing how long your muscles can hold out. Sounds like weightlifting, and I love weight lifting.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I. don't. like. pilates. And here's why.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1. Lack of endorphin rush.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">2. I spend lots of energy trying to uncramp my neck scar tissue and losing focus on what the exercises are meant to do. And d</span><span style="font-size: large;">oing those bicycle things and scissor kicks while lying down makes my back and hip sound and feel like a pan of JiffyPop.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">3. No endorphins. None.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">4. This is the big one for me, I think. In addition to determination, pilates requires prolonged concentration and self-coaching. When I exercise, I'm all about being my challenger and my cheerleader. Concentrating is no fun. Exercise for me needs some play.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">5. Did I mention that there are no endorphins to be found in a pilates workout?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">6. Unfortunately I ended up next to someone who's been practicing pilates for 8 years. That person was probably a very nice person, but for the first time in a long time I couldn't get past feeling judged -- and the person probably wasn't even looking at me! But because there was nothing to do but think about owies and not tipping over or how goofy I felt lying on my back with my feet way up there... Nope the whole thing made me uncomfortable.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But one of the magnets on my refrigerator reads "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." Maybe I need to give pilates another chance -- stare it down, win the battle, and discover the treasure that makes it so popular with so many people. I hope there are endorphins.</span>Karin Ostroskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17634044587674831207noreply@blogger.com0