What to do, what to do?

It happens every time.  In the weeks leading up to the kids' break from school - whether summer, winter, or spring - I anticipate days of not worrying about school, deadlines, and other obligations.  I envision pajama days of a magically and healthfully filled refrigerator, well-balanced and nutritious meals that prepare themselves, laundry that keeps itself clean, folded, and stocked in drawers, and hour after hour of being merrily busy.

About halfway through the break, when I'm weary of chauffeuring and of living schedulessly at the whim of my kidlets, I find myself thinking "Why didn't I set plan time for me?"  I can eat in secret, read a stack of books, surf the web, or watch TV reruns, but none of those is what I want to do.  My body is stiff, my clothes are tight, and I'm feeling blah.  I want to feel alive again.

That's when I start making plans for the weeks ahead.  Looking through the class offerings of the YMCA I see titles like Step, Basic Strength Training, and Yoga.  I see Cardio & Strength, Jogging, and Boot Camp all listed in the water section!  I start comparing the times of the offered classes to the times I need to drop off or pick up from school.  How many classes can I squeeze in to my days?  How good will I feel after each class?  How awesome will it feel to start shedding, instead of packing on, pounds again?

I've got my water.  I've got my journal.  Now I've got to get some exercise.  Again.

How I Lost 100 Pounds, 12/20

First, it must be noted that drinking 8 oz. of water every half hour isn't a sustainable practice.  After the first few hours, I quickly decided to use my head rather than stick to a vow which didn't make sense.  The good news?  I'm back in the water habit!  Not 8 oz. every half hour, but definitely more often than before.

After plenty of hemming & hawing, tempted by the idea of "I'll just go back to WW!  They'll fix it!" I chose instead to purchase a food journal.  This is the one I bought.  Already on day one it's working.  Starting to journal what I eat reminds me to think twice before eating.  This morning I almost had my teeth into a cookie, I remembered the journal and my goal, and then I put the cookie down.  I'm reminded of the phrase Don't trade what you want most for what you want right now.

The journal also made me finally make time to get to the grocery store for fresh fruit.  I can't remember the last time my breakfast included fruit or veggies.

I'm thankful for all that I learned in WW.  Now I need to keep tapping into those lessons and stand on my own two feet. 

water -- check.
food tracking -- check.

How I Lost 100 Pounds, Starting Today

I've had the title "How I Lost 100 Pounds, Starting Today" in my head for a few weeks now.  I think it comes from the dream it, do it or believe it, achieve it school of thought.  

This morning I decided to promote myself to the next grade by moving from thought to action.  I took what is almost always the first step of getting serious about getting healthy: identify the Why.  Why am I motivated to invest in improving my health?  I took my brand new, fairy-godmother-given notebook and made my list.  It's my list, not yours.  I invite you to make a list of your very own.

When I was done making my list I gave myself 2 challenges for today:

1.  Get on the scale.  I know, I know: there are other healthful cues than a scale, but if my title is "How I Lost 100 Pounds, Starting Today," then I'd better know where I started so I know when I get there.

2.  Drink 8 oz. of water during every top and bottom half of the hour.  Not only will this make me healthier, it'll also give me a jump start on that 100 lbs.

So.  Here we are.  Only 100 pounds to go!

doggie dash

What is all boils down to today is this:

Do I want to be the fat old lady waiting at the finish line with a mouthful of excuses, or do I want to be the fat old lady crossing the finish line in spite of the excuses?

Off to the Doggie Dash!

weight loss insanity!

Was it Einstein?  I think it was Einstein.  I could look it up, but then I'd lose my train of thought, and the way that train's been running lately, I'm better off keeping away from search engines.

Someone, I think it's Einstein, noted that doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results is insanity.  I think it's more futility, but what do I know?

I know that my clothes got tighter while I wasn't looking.  I thought about blaming it on those calories which hide in the washer & dryer and suck the extra space right out of the fabric.  I'm sure I've read about that kind of calories on the Internet; and we all know that if it's on the Internet it must be true.

I thought about blaming it on my injuries which have kept me from getting my heart rate up.  But, quite frankly, hand and arm have done just fine lifting goodies all the way to my mouth.  I suspect that some of my residual limp is less limp than waddle.

Where am I going with all this?  I'm going to make my clothes less tight.  I'm not a seamstress by any stretch of the imagination, so instead of working from the outside-in, I'm going to have to work from the inside-out.

And what better time that autumn?  No shorts or swimsuits on the horizon -- only blankets and flannels, if our recent loss of power is any indication of the months ahead.  Autumn!  With comfort foods and social foods and sampling foods.  Since society will have us all dieting on January 1, so if we're going to eat butter, cheese, and sugar we'd better hop to it.

Yeah, a great time to fix what's not working.

My best weapon right now is that I want to be healthy.  My tighter clothes aren't the issue -- they're a symptom.  I've had enough injury this year to last me a lifetime; I want the rest of my lifetime to be glorious, not burdensome.

Eat better.  Move more.  Ignoring those instructions and thinking I'll be healthy... futile insanity.

new

Much like the butterflies in my stomach before the initial Lighten Up session in 2011, today's butterflies know how to raise a ruckus.  In a little while I'm going to try a new gym.  I'm already wondering what the clientele will be like, how hard will it be to find the machines I want to work on, and what am I capable of after having been physically & emotionally broken.

It's too bad I can't sneak into the gym when no one's looking.  Try this machine and that, build my endurance and slim down a bit before adding other people to the mix.

But as I told myself time and time again in the past, people at the gym are there for themselves, not to pay attention to me.  So the best I can do it pack a water bottle and some tunes, make sure my laces are tied, and do my best.

Enough time

To summarize where I've been since August:  Back injuries stink.  And that's enough about that.

Since I have had no exercise option available to me for more than a month now, I've had plenty of time to wallow and worry.

And I've had so much time to wallow and worry that I've resorted to giving myself a good talking to.  There are some things I can't do.  So?

I can do my phsyical therapy exercises.  (I used to work to make my trainer proud; now I'm working to make my physical therapist proud.)

And I can concentrate on healthy eating.  (So many blogs, so many cookbooks, so many friends with great recipes)

Time to start concentrating on doing what I can, rather than lamenting what I can't.  (Is that optimism I hear?)

Time to become reacquainted with my kitchen.  (It's on the other side of the dining room.)

Here we go!