Thursday, May 3, 2012

my musical pick-me-ups

Thankfully I have a rich musical repertoire in running 'round my mind, and my Self seems to know where to find what it needs in there.

This morning on the radio I heard Shonlock's Hello ("there's so much more to who you are"), and that seemed to unlock things for me.

A short while later I had Whitney Houston's voice singing "a lonely place to be, and so I learned to depend on me."

And then Brett Michaels "give me something to believe in."

I've got ideas about how to move forward now.  Basically I need to move.  Not treadmill move, but fun move -- like my dog spazzing out over her favorite ball.

I need to be a little brave and get back into a group exercise 'cause I love those.  I've never found anyone in them to be anything but supportive and inspiring.

Gonna find the beat again.  Sugarland.


Being lost wouldn't be so bad if I knew who could help me find my way.  The past six months or seem in some ways to have been one blow after another: surgery, my dog's death, my dad's death, and a lingering injury. 

In the midst of this I've lost confidence in my Self and in my ability to workout and to not be a slave to food.  I'm spending so much time healing that there's not much left for anything else.

But I want to get back to healthy in mind and body.  I want to find my way.  And that lets me know that all is not lost, that I haven't succumbed. 

Now if someone would just give me a map and hold my hand, maybe I can find my way again.