Friday, June 29, 2012

How I did this week

Well done, me!  The scale showed me down a pound this week.  More importantly I'm feeling stronger, optimistic, and in control.

Thanks to a Costco run, I made sure the house was stocked with good things for me to eat.  My meals this week were heavy on berries & salad, and a new favorite of mine:  Baja Veggie Burgers by Golden.  Dear me, they are delicious!  No bun needed, just a little Wholy Guacamole and these burgers are perfect!  I even learned that guac, used in moderation, is an awesome salad topper.  Guacamole w/o chips -- who knew?  Well I know now!

I think this is the biggest reason I got the scale to move down again this week -- I measured my portions and looked up/wrote down calorie counts for everything I ate.  I finally found a notebook I like to use (a steno pad), which helps a lot. 

This is what really brought a smile to my face.  I did my 5k training 4 days this week, even jogging in these sauna-like days.  When I was stretching after this morning's work, I noticed that the sunlight shimmering in the sweat on my arm reminded me of the path that leads to the sun as it sets beyond Lake Erie.  I really loved that.
Yesterday alone I swam, biked, walked, and lifted weights.  I accept the fact that I'll never be the first to finish any race.  I'm finally happy with being a workhorse, knowing I won't quit.

So that's it.  That's how my week went.  Lots of sweat, healthy food every day, a couple afternoons when I crashed into a battery-recharing naps. 

I'm excited that I lost a pound, happy that I enjoyed eating well, proud of all the physical work I did, and I'm looking forward another good week.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012


I hardly know where to begin.  I've been thinking a lot lately about how proud I am of some accomplishments of late:
   *  resuming weightlifting
   *  overcoming (w/ the help of a friend) a panic attack during Saturday's jog
   *  doing every single piece of 5k training homework
   *  tracking everything I eat -- not just the food, but the calories, too
   *  giving myself a day of no tracking and a little leeway in eating

I'm being hard on myself too:
   *   I haven't braved a swim suit yet this year, even when the air was stifling and the water was enticing
   *   I abhor everything I see in the mirror (sooner or later you have to look, even if it's just when washing your face -- and I'm not happy with any of it)
  *    I'm assuming that my appearance affects my hirability.

Today I feel like I'm paying my debt to society: I paid the fat tax for an upcoming flight.  Upon reading that one must fit entirely between arm rests 17" apart, I thought I'd better take a look.  It's not easy measuring oneself w/ a ruler, let me tell you.  I layed it across my lap, I sat on it, I stood with it.  No matter the position, the numbers were clear: either book a second seat for myself or half of my body was going to have to stay home.

I have to write this, I have to put it out there.  I have to use this motivation.  No matter what I've done, I can't stop.  I still have so much physical and mental work to do.  I can lift all the weights I want and walk a thousand miles, but if I'm winded from jogging or going up and down the stairs a few times, how in shape am I?

I'm proud and relieved that, for now anyway, I've got a good handle on healthy eating.  I'm going to need that because I've got a monumental goal ahead of me, and I'm going to have to learn to push myself through self-consciousness & panic attacks & public perception.