April 9

No super duper calorie burn for me today.  Rather a delightful afternoon with my Middle One enjoying Euclid High School's performance of The Wizard of Oz.  Then a healthy, low sodium dinner prepared by my wonderful husband -- he thoughtfully opted for low sodium knowing that I am particulary fussy about salt the night before a Weight Watchers weigh-in.  And after that he and I and two-thirds of our kids went for a good stretch of the legs up and down the streets of our neighborhood.

 

Not every day can include a sweaty workout at the gym, and that's okay as long as I make sure that most of my days do.  Equally important though is time spent with my family.  I continue to learn to get myself healthy in the loving presence of those around me.  To attempt health any other way for me would be an off-balanced, fruitless endeavor.

 

Goals for the coming week: get my bike repaired, get back to my sweaty morning workouts and to keep those going even when my schedule gets turned upside down midweek.  Wish me luck!

April 8: Application unsent

When I hugged my Youngest One this morning, I breathed a prayer of thanks that I never mailed my application to be a contestant on The Biggest Loser.  I filled it out more than a year ago and even filmed the required video to accompany the paperwork.  The appliaction helped me take a good long look at myself.  There were questions about my passions and accomplishments, how others would describe my good & bad qualities, how my weight impacted my life, what would be the best thing about being at a healthy weight, and more.  I completed the application several times, giving thought to my answers and being open with myself and about myself.

But little snafus kept preventing me from submitting my application.  Looking back now, though I'd still be excited by the whole Biggest Loser experience, I can't stomach the thought of being away from my family for so long.  Some of those contestants are away from home and loved ones for months on end.  Life at home could certainly go on without me, but I wouldn't want that to happen.

The reason I want so much to lose weight is the very reason I couldn't send in that application: I want to be healthy with my family.  Therefore I'm extremely grateful for Lighten Up.  I'm having some of the contest experience, but doing so in harmony with my life.  I don't have elite trainers and 24-hour access to a gym, but I do have the Euclid YMCA, Euclid Creek, the Metroparks, and my neighborhood sidewalks.  I don't have a medical staff monitoring my every move, but I do have a library and computer chockful of information I can learn.  Bonus: I have supportive friends and role models, and I get to transform my self alongside my loved ones.

I am capable of achieving a healthy weight and am fortunate enough to have such a supportive group of people in my life that I don't need to be removed from them in order to achieve that weight.  How grateful I am.

~Karin

April 6: Brain Day

Since I can't remember the last day I didn't exercise my body (and since my hamstrings are still tight from yesterday), I'm switching gears, giving my body a break, and exercising my brain instead. 

 

First, I have to say how proud I am of yesterday.  As the PTA president at my daughter's school, I spent the day anxious and worried about the evening's event.  Would it go well?  Had I forgotten any details?  Did I have back-up plans?  I actually awoke very early, but (as I mentioned yesterday) managed to talk myself through my nerves.  As the day went on, since I had my head screwed on straight I didn't dive for refuge in food.  I think the event went really well, and I'm pleased that I was able to handle a medium-stress day so well.

 

Today I'm working on various projects for schools, church, and my community.  I played games with my Littlest One and am making plans for other things I'm looking forward to with my family.  And much to my dismay as I work through some of the more challenging projects, I find myself thinking "I could go for some milk & graham crackers."  But now that I recognize that impulsive snacking for what it is, an avoidance tool, I'm not falling into that trap.  I'm burning fewer calories today, so I certainly don't need to consume extra calories.  See?  I'm learning!

 

It feels good to stretch my brain beyond calories, reps, incline, and tension.  And I'd better do it today because tomorrow I'm going to need to focus on weightlifting.  I appreciate all the opportunities I've been blessed with.

 

~Karin

April 5: some physical & mental progress

Last night I would have loved to go walking outside, but before bravely following in Jim's all-weather footsteps and thanks to a little prodding from my wonderful husband, I decided to head to the Y to see whether I could put myself through the wringer there.  Unlike the mornings when the Y is relatively empty, last evening it was packed!  My three favorite types of machine were taken – most every machine was taken – so I resorted to using the Stairmaster.  The room was so hot and humid that the panoramic windows were entirely steamed over, so there was no golf course view.  Thankfully I had music to listen to while I sweated and stepped to nowhere.  From there I hopped on another machine and then another.  I finally stopped when I felt like my body was panicking.  Whether the sweat was from my hard work or the rain forest atmosphere, I didn't care.  I was thankful for the unexpected and challenging workout.

This morning I awoke long before the sun rose, thinking about all the things on my to-do list in the days ahead.  I was starting to panic, but rather than jump out of bed and start doing things, I stayed in bed and thought through the panicky feeling.  What was I afraid of?  What catastrophe was I imagining?  What could I do to ensure that things would run smoothly?  Little by little I organized my runaway worried thoughts into a group of tasks within my power.  Then I got out of bed, grabbed pen & paper, and started listing what I needed to/could do (I can almost check blogging off my list).  I'm still nervous because I want things to go well, but I'm not panicking, and I think I'm not going to turn to food as a hiding place.

Progress!

~Karin

April 4: Letter to me

Dear Me,

 

You sure delivered on that workout you promised yourself yesterday.  You came home drenched in sweat – proof of how hard you worked.  Further proof was the non-stop yawning yesterday evening, then being too tired to exercise this morning.  But you made it to a Weight Watchers meeting, and you didn't let midday hunger runaway with you, so you're doing okay.

 

That said, don't think you're off the hook.  You're a little rundown, and I understand.  But you need to push through.  You know what they say: "When the going gets tough, the tough get going."

 

Get a little more rest this afternoon, but then get wake up that mental trainer of yours and do what you need to do.  I don't care if it's the treadmill or cross-trainer or elliptical machine, but you will get yourself to the gym this evening and you will move for at least 30 minutes.  Think of Jim out there walking in all kinds of weather, no matter what.  Let him inspire you today.

 

Love,

Me

April 3 After the newspaper

It was fun to see the weights listed in The News Herald this morning and to watch Jim & Stephen's video interview.  Congratulations to everyone for sticking with it!

 

I had a great time logging 5 more miles with my kids at Euclid Creek yesterday.  For the most part, I was pushing the little one in a stroller. Figure she weighs about 30 pounds, and the stroller another 5 or 10.  Pushing those extra pounds uphill was a real challenge – and to think I used to be carrying that and more on my body!  And I'm still carrying about 90 too many.  Yikes.  Talk about motivation.

 

Best of luck to all of us - and especially to Barb H. as she recovers from surgery - in the weeks ahead!

~Karin