The Year of Karin
Ever since grade school I've been giving away things I want in order to make others happy. I'm not sure if it's because I took Catholic education about caring for others too far, or because I didn't know how else to get people to like me, or because I just liked to make people happy. It was probably a combination of the three.
For some of us, it's easy to put the needs of others before our own needs, then play martyr and cry "Poor me!" Waiting for a rescuer to come along, we tell ourselves how unloved and helpless we are. We turn to food for solace. Pounds come on, skin breaks out, and we sit helplessly by, wondering why we feel insecure. I was like that for a long time.
Powerlessness and insecurity. The chicken and the egg.
Kari is a great person to know (I would be remiss if I didn't say that I met her through her mom, my dear Friend Kathy). Trust me when I say Kari's plate is full. She and her husband have four children; she makes beautiful cards; she's involved in her church and is connected in her community. My very favorite thing about Kari is how she celebrates her birthday. I use the term birthday loosely here, because for Kari, it's a birthday season. If I've got it right: from the final birthday before hers until the next birthday after hers is the time dedicated to Kari's birthday season. Were I to do the same, my birthday season would trump all the others in my household, running from Sept. 23 – July 10!
Last fall I celebrated my 10th cancer-free anniversary about a month before my birthday. As a part-time library employee, a freelance worker, a mom of three, wife, PTA president, volunteer and stuck in that challenging "between generations" position, I was at my wit's end of how to manage my life. Building on Kari's birthday season idea, I decided I needed to do something drastic.
I declared a Year of Karin, which would start on my birthday. For one year I would put my needs on the list and not let them get shoved off. It meant looking at what was necessary, what was life-giving, what was draining, and what was superfluous. What a difference these past few months have been. I've gained confidence and knowledge, lost 20 pounds, and tried new things. Rather than feeling resentful about other people making me uncomfortable or walking all over me, I've made my needs known, spoken up, and asked for help.
The Year of Karin continues till early October, but there's no reason this can only be the Year of Karin. I invite you to make this your year, too. Make yourself a priority, and watch what happens.
~Karin
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