March 21: Good-bye, my friend

                I think we both knew it was our last ride to the gym together.  We drove along in the moonlit sky, neither of us making a sound.  We've covered a lot of ground together and conquered situations I never imagined.  Today it seems we come to an end.  Someone is coming to buy my old van.

                A sentimental person, I run the risk of becoming maudlin over this.  Part of me knows a van is metal and plastic, but part of me sees the headlights as eyes and the grill as a smile.  I think about why we bought the used van in the first place.  Before our 2^nd child was born, we realized that my 2-door cherry red Cavalier wasn't conducive to car seats and my bad back.  I think about all the growing our family did in my old van, Christmas trees it carried, the time my friends helped me nurse it home along the Shoreway after some hoses had sprung and it was overheating.  If I had my way, I would have extra money and extra space and be able to keep my old van till it gave up the ghost entirely.

                If there's one lesson I been taught from a young age, it's that things change.  From  leaving my favorite stuffed animal (Bunny) on an international plane to from broken friendships to the deaths of loved ones, change can be scary and sometimes overwhelming.  Change and loss can sometimes seem like good reasons to fall under the spell of comfort food and the couch.  But, as we talk about in WW and as I'm learning more from Shrink Yourself, the only way to grow into who we are is to learn how to handle the emotions and situations of our lives: to bravely face them head-on, without crumbs and belches.

                I'm pretty sure I've conquered emotional eating.  I no longer, as Carole says, eat when "happy or glad or sad or bad."  But I'm still a stress eater.  When there's something that needs to be done and all I can do is spin my wheels, I'm tempted to hit the snacks.  I'm working on teaching myself how to cope with stress.  And just like my friends and I got my old van safely to the mechanic, filling it with water every few yards, I'm sure I can reach my goal by filling myself with information and motivation, and by relying on those who love me to help me along.

~Karin