Friday, March 4, 2011

March 4: Stress

            I'm having a hard time right now.  I have been obsessively comparing my weight loss progress (or lack thereof) in Lighten Up to the success of the others.  This needs to stop.  It's hard to stop thinking about something, though.  It's like trying to not think about an itch: the harder you work to not think about it….

            At the doctor's today for an unrelated issue, I voiced my frustration about being stuck weight-wise.  The nurse looked at my chart and reported that I'm down 20 pounds since October.  (Little voice in my head: Yeah, but people in the contest lost 20+ pounds in a month!)  I'm going in the right direction, but it's not happening as quickly as I'd like.  How did everyone else in the contest blow off so much weight so fast?  What's wrong with me?

            I'm feeling the pressure, and I need a good cry. 

            On the positive side: I convinced myself once again to get out of bed early this morning and exercise.  At the doctor's office I got a shot in the arm (literally), so hopefully I'll start feeling better soon.  Less owie = less stress = back to my normal self.  And best of all, I get to go out with my husband tonight.

            Maybe this afternoon I'll let myself have that overdue cry.  Then I'll read some of the wonderfully consoling sixth chapter of Matthew.  Then as I try to restore order in my house and life, I'll let my excitement for tonight build.  I'll pull myself out of the doldrums, and I'll be okay. 

            I may end up wearing a size 4 and still weighing 241 pounds, but I'll be okay.



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