Recently I had an encounter with a person whose personality I find challenging. Even just few weeks ago, the encounter would have kicked my confidence, and I would undoubtedly have numbed myself with the comfort of food. That didn't happen this time. This time, without a conscious plan, I mulled over the encounter, picking it apart, and finding the crux of it. I figured out how to move forward without adding insult to injury on either side.
And as I was exercising in the gym this morning, I thought about how I used to think that people with healthy bodies were strong. And I thought some more, that not all healthy weight people are strong or even healthy. And I thought about how I'm changing: recreating and discovering who I am. And I thought about how emotionally different I am.
And I thought about how amazing it is that among the most important tools for going another mile or another lap are confidence, determination, and desire. I don't think I've ever felt those so clearly before. Academics in school were somewhat easy, and if they weren't, I figured I wasn't good in that subject. Striking up a conversation with people is usually easy, and when it wasn't, I figured the person had good reason for not talking with me, and I moved on.
I'm finally learning to break my self-imposed boundaries. Though I'm still insecure in some ways, I'm learning to not be afraid of failure. I'm learning to not let the easy way out be an option. I'm more productive and more thoughtful than ever before. I'm more focused and confident. It's kind of exciting. J
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