Ever since last week's Lighten Up weigh-in, I've been a basket case. Not only was I unhappy with my weight loss compared to everyone else's (although I'm glad to be losing), but at a loss as to why I was so undone. As a result, although I kept up my exercise, my eating got out of whack and I slipped into the blues. I'm proud that I didn't get stuck there; I kept my commitments and searched for a way back to wholeness.
Yesterday during a kid-free trip to Euclid Library, I filled up my bag with about 20 pounds of books from the 613s and the 616s (one of my favorite jobs was shelving books at EPL, so I know where to look for books by number). I just knew there was something in all those books which I was meant to read.
Last night while watching a movie with my middlest one, I skimmed through most of the books. There were food plans and rationales, but all they did was fuel my anxiety. So much for the 613s; I packed up those books for prompt return.
At bedtime and this morning I delved into two 616 books. There it was: exactly how I was feeling not only this week but more broadly in my life for years. The authors' emotions and experiences matched my own incredibly well.
I'm relieved to be able to identify what's been going on. Now that I've dragged it out into the light, I'll be able to deal with it, cope with it, and be better for it.
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