May 25: More self-reliance; or Good-bye Jillian, Hello Anna

(See?  When I wrote in my homework assignment about learning that I'm strong, I wasn't kidding!)

 

Where do I start?  I watched the Biggest Loser finale last night, and marveled at how much progress the contestants made.  Losing 100 pounds in just a couple months sure does make for good TV!  There were no long workout segments to inspire me, but I did come away inspired by seeing people reach their goals through hard work.

 

I also came away with a sick feeling in my stomach, wondering if next season can possibly provide motivation.  Anne Kournikova has been brought in to replace the departing Jillian Michaels.  This worries me.  Thanks to Jillian, I learned how to challenge myself and not let myself hide behind excuses.  Whether she was screaming in contestants' faces, threatening to tear their arms off and beat them, or listening compassionately with tears streaming down her face, Jillian has been about strength and helping us all to find our strength.  {Further, both Jillian and Bob have hugged people no matter how fat their bodies were.  They showed me that despite my fat, I am also worthy of love and respect.}

 

It got me thinking about how I'm going to have to rely on myself even more.  Television shows – or any other motivating force – don't last forever.  I'm the only one who will always be with me. When it comes right down to it, no matter how much my family and friends love and support me, that's all they can do: love and support me.  Fixing my health and living my life are entirely up to me.

 

So this morning when I awoke late after an alarm clock malfunction (I set it for pm rather than am), it was me who got me to the pool to swim laps to keep me on track for my triathlon.  I did it. I took Jillian's instructions in strength and Bob's instruction in self-reliance, and I got myself to the pool.  I didn't give into the old habit of "Well, I'm late, I'm not perfect, so why bother going at all?"  I got to the pool a little later than usual, but I swam what I needed to swim.  This is especially amazing given the extreme fatigue in my shoulders from yesterday's weightlifting.  I did it.

 

I'll give The Biggest Loser a chance next year, and will likely still find motivation from the workouts and from Bob.  Whether there's more to Anna than meets the eye (and plenty meets the eye!), remains to be seen.  But my success will be mine, not hers.

 

~Karin