June 15: Diary of an Emotional Eater

  Yesterday I created an eating log so that I could track what I eat, when, and why.  But I quickly realized that I would do well to track when I wanted to eat and what seemed to prompt that urge.  I found the task to be enlightening, frustrating, and heartening.  When I saw in print how frequently during the day I want to eat for reasons other than hunger, I was amazed.  And though at the end of the day I did succumb to fatigue eating, I applaud myself for the half dozen times I overcame the urge to eat emotionally.  That took a lot of strength.  I'm going to keep that log again today.

 

  When the alarm clock went off today, once again I didn't want to get up and go to the gym.  I suspect that in addition to a raging head sinus infection, I suffer some level of bi-polar.  There are weeks when I'm so jazzed up that I can barely shut my brain down to go to sleep; life is effortless.  Then there are weeks like this one, when I have to force myself up and out of bed and go through my daily routine.  There are weeks when I'm all about fresh produce; and weeks like this when I can't summon the energy to slice a pineapple.  Again, I'm hoping that this log I've created for myself will help.

 

  Back to the point: though I would have preferred to stay in bed, I got up.  Though I would have preferred to drive to the Y, I biked.  Though I would have preferred to quit after one mile on the cross-trainer, I then walk-jogged a mile on the treadmill, even jogging the complete quarter mile at the end.  Though I would have preferred to not wear my sweatshirt home over my t-shirt, I put it on and discovered as I was biking home that I was glad I did.

 

  When it's in my power, when I've got the emotional fortitude, to choose between what I want and what's best for me, I seem to do well with making the right choices in a lot of areas.  I'm glad for that. Now I need to train myself to make the right choices about food, even when I'd rather stare glassy-eyed at the wall or reach for a spoon and a jar of peanut butter to numb my stress.  I'm formulating a little plan, and the food log is just part of it.  I need to do as much on my own as I can, with a little help from prayer & my support team.

 

  So hooray for what I've already accomplished today and for what I will accomplish today. 

 

  A little inspiration from today's workout music:

Faith is believing you can close your eyes and touch the sky…

Hold on tight to what you feel

 and ride.

-- Martina McBride

~Karin